It's taken me some time to be able to talk about my "memories" of Andy because I still can't believe he's gone. I know life is not fair, but this should have never happened. I will miss Andy the rest of my days and am so completely glad to have been a part of his life for a time.
There are so many memories, and now I feel I have to write them all down, because I never want to forget. That's the trouble with time...we always think there's going to be more of it. It's a good reminder to everyone that "live" is a verb and requires action.
I met Andy and Andrea through my husband when they moved to American Canyon. We were new to the area as well, and my husband was looking to make new friends. From our bedroom window, we could see the Ellison's move in and knew they had children that looked to be the age of our son. Indeed they do and little did I know a friendship so powerful would bloom from that first meeting. My husband kept trying to get our son to ride his bike over to the Ellison's house to introduce himself to their boys. Our son was having none of that. So taking matters into his own hands my husband set out to make a new friend for our son. Little did he and I know the friend we would make was in the whole beautiful family.
My husband set out around the corner on his mission. He arrived at their house, armed with a red cup of his favorite weekend beverage, the Margarita, and introduced himself, and our son, who was lagging shyly behind. Andy smiled broadly and they made an immediate connection. Later I learned that Andy's "test" for friendship was met through the appropriate use of the red cup. Quickly they were enjoying red-cupped beverages on a regular basis.
It didn't take long before we were spending most weekend evenings together, enjoying a beverage or two and laughing heartily. There was never any shortage of laughter when we were together.
We have shared so many things as families and there are so many great memories. I have one very special memory of the rare occasion where I had an opportunity to help Andy. It was a Tuesday evening and we both were members of a community board in American Canyon. We often rode to the meetings together, and this day was no exception, however, he needed to get there early because he needed to pull the large mowing tractor out of the mud. Well, this was my opportunity, I grew up on a farm and have gotten many farm implements stuck in the mud, so I said, "let's go" and "I can help." He looked at me with some trepidation. At the time I thought it was because he didn't think I really could help. I later learned it was over my attire. You see, in my exuberance to help him, as he was always helping me, I jumped in the car wearing my office work clothes right down to the shoes.
We got to the field and sure enough the mower was stuck in the mud. We went straight to work, talking about how to best attack the problem. I made suggestions, he made suggestions and together we solved the problem. Neither one of us were paying much attention to anything but getting that damn tractor out of the mud before our meeting was to begin. We laughed and chatted while we worked.
Ultimately we got the thing out and were ready to attend the board meeting. We looked down at each other and immediately started to laugh. In the course of our efforts, we were both covered in mud. He was a bit more prepared than I, but both of us were covered from elbows to fingertips and ankles to toes in sticky, icky, sour mud.
The heels I wore that night were never worn again to work or anywhere else for that matter. But they did stay around in the garage for awhile and I smiled and laughed every time I saw them, remembering the fun we had getting that tractor "unstuck."
I miss my friend so damn much it hurts. I miss his smile and his laugh. I miss the way he would say "yeah, yeah, yeah," I miss the way he made me feel like I could do anything - even help him get a tractor out of the mud, and that if I couldn't he was ALWAYS there to help me fix it. Tonight I raise a red cup to Andy...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Thoughts From Lenore and Tim Arnoux
I think of Andy with love and a smile. I was away for the memorial. I will treasure his friendship and always be thankful for the short time we had together. Andy had a very special place in my husband Tim's heart. He felt like a father and a friend to Andy. Our love goes out to Andrea and the children. No words can express how sorry we are for the loss of such a special young man. Good by sweet man...you will be missed by everyone.
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